Are You Unhappy in Your Relationship? A Retort

Let’s give a retort to this article posted by Huffington Post: Are you subconsciously unhappy in your relationship? Expert reveals the 10 signs that prove it’s finally time to call it quits. 

You’ve lost your sparkle. You’re not happy. This is a sign that you have stopped spending time on yourself and have stopped practicing self-care. This is also a sign that you have stopped being responsible for your own happiness. This is something you need to work on, by yourself. This is not something your partner is responsible for.

You’re easily irritated by your partner. To paint this with a broad stroke, you are likely resentful of your partner. Perhaps you are allowing yourself to be irritated with things that he or she does that you wish were done differently… Folding the towels wrong; leaving dishes on the counter and not in the sink… And so forth. This could easily tie in with the first point of you losing your sparkle: are you so unhappy that you are now taking it out on your partner? Are you trying to regain control of yourself by trying to control your partner?

Have you explored the different love languages with your partner? This might be a good time to do this.

You go off sex or intimacy. This is a huge issue.  Perhaps your partner isn’t acting as the same fun-loving or strong person they were before. You can do things to help your partner get back to being the best person that they can be in order to turn the tables around. Give affection in small amounts throughout the day. Kiss hello and goodbye like you mean it. Run your hand over the small of their back when you walk past them. Give them a gentle hug from behind while they’re cooking or doing something else nonchalant. The little tokens of affection help build up intimacy.

You find yourself wanting to spend more time alone. Maybe this isn’t a bad thing. Maybe you should be spending more solo time on hobbies and working to improve yourself.

You stop complimenting your partner. This is obviously something you can improve. Male or female, compliments go a long way.

Your level of self confidence drops. Once again, this is something you need to work on for yourself. No, you do not need to get attention from a different person in order to get your confidence up, so do not allow yourself to do that -inside or outside of your relationship.

You stop looking forward to coming home from work. Try setting the tone. When you return and you see your partner, smile brightly and greet them as though they’re the best thing you’ve seen all day and you are glad to see them. Ask them how their day was and be a source of happiness. The favour will more than likely be returned.

You stop planning trips away with your partner. Dates are important. Plan an event to go to with your partner, or something small like a dinner date and a walk. Be proactive and don’t let your relationship go stagnant. If your relationship is stagnant, it’s time to take initiative.

You take less pride in your appearance. When you first entered into the relationship, you no doubt spent a lot of time and effort being the best you for your partner. Why stop now? You attracted them by being your best you so don’t stop being the best you. If you feel like you need to hit the gym, don’t announce your intention; just do it 🙂

You belittle your partner in front of your friends. This is something you should never do. Ever. No matter how much you dislike your partner in the moment. It paints them in a bad light, it reinforces incorrect ideas that you might have about them in your head, and is overall just a negative thing to do.

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