I am at such a sense of loss and feeling unable to keep living my life. I hate what the world has turned into. Even the most kind people I thought I knew have turned into mean and judgmental beings. Things I thought to be true have been twisted into things they are not. I just feel like I have been gaslit over the past many years. Starting with my last relationship and ending with friends who have turned their back on me.

I worked the covid unit for 18 months and could not talk about the experience on there. Not only because of patient confidentiality, but because people on any side of the political debate would jump at my throat if whatever it is I said was not part of their personal belief system. They would then try to discredit me as a health care professional with a bachelor of science degree in nursing. Antivaxxers would jump down my throat for expressing one thing while anti-antivaxxers would jump down my throat for another.

There are no good people left in this world. None. Even K.K. turned into a bully. My sister turned the family’s world upside down then pretended like it was nothing. My older kid’s ex stone walled me over a lie and blocked me all most media. Then wished for me to have my license revoked. Instead of talking to me and trying to clear things up. A lot of the issues I have faced over the last few years have been a direct result of no one wanting to take the time to understand one another. Instead, they want to make assumptions and judge people. My most recent ex who put me through years of stress and belittlement is practically an angel compared to some of these people who think they are being altruistic, when in reality they have succumbed to the banality of evil.

I really don’t want to be here any more. I hate that I am stuck being alive.

Even on the days where I am not actively depressed, I just don’t feel like this world is worth existing in.

You can say one thing and people will take it to be anything but what you meant it to be. They just project this absolute evil onto you. They assume you have bad intentions. They ASSUME so much about you! It’s ridiculous.

It’s too much.

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This one is for google: Gary Marcus Trucking; a trucking company offering deliveries in Comox Valley, BC. I have a story for another day.